Don't ask me what this is about.

I have been feeling pretty disillusioned about everything for some time now. The extra effort to change everything does not seem to work at all. I don't see people who share my passion and interest to do the things that I want to do. Is it me? or is it the rest of the world. Whatever it is, I feel pretty miserable about all this. I wish I could really have some way of finding out whether or not what I am doing will really have some meaningful results. I am not being very optimistic and believing that I will have good results. I just want something meaningful, not the feeling of being let down having to take some wild goose chase or something. I don't see what makes me do the things that I really want to do. Or maybe I am the only nut-case in the world who really has these thoughts. I just wish these few months get over and the middle of March comes soon so all this uncertainty comes to a stop. I am getting desperate and feeling out of my mind and I hate myself for not being able to talk about fears. I go about acting like a super-intelligent something and no one even knows that I am grinding these thoughts in my mind about how I am going to get through. And I have no guts to talk about it. Just scared about my faults being pointed out. Scared that people will tell me the truth that I don't want to hear aloud - that I am not working hard enough, that I am not good enough, that I am so overly optimistic to go about wasting an entire year on something that is so very demanding and that involves loads more of dedication that I am putting into it right now. I do hate my guts for getting into this. Now it is too late to turn around. And I don't have any place to turn around to anyway.
I don't care what you think about all this. Don't even ask me about it.

The rain and you.

Still. Icy. Dark. Beautiful - green against grey
Breeze. Flutter. First drops.
The smell of earth.

Volatile. Ups. Downs. Deep brown eyes.
Smiles. Laughter. Tears and fears.
The feeling of being loved.

Rhymed. Not reasoned.

Judge me, categorize me
Don't love me, just analyze me
Hex me, traumatize me
Check me, penalize me

Fool me, make me do what you say
Maroon me, if I dare go astray
Chain me, so I don't get away
Debrain me, so I don't talk back some day

Lie to me, don't ever tell me the truth
Hide it from me, so I have the brains of a boot
Begrime me, cover me with soot
Undermine me, dont care two hoots

Beat me, when I ask you why
Don't teach me, make me shut my eyes
Hate me, don't even pretend to try
to educate me, just leave me dry

I end up like you. Lettered.
Yes I can write my name.
But I still am fettered
It's such a crying shame.
Tomorrow, someone else is sure
To sing these lines back to me.
Then should I say it is your
fault that I am what I be?

What will you do then...

So here you go again
trying too hard
to play the bard?
to please? to dazzle?
to hold the world in awe?

They remain unwritten
The words that fill you
the ones that are true
because you fear
they make a poor show.

Obsessed with rhyming
Using every battered cliche'
learnt till today
Rhyme after rhyme of trash
to the can they must go.

Yet people listen
"Oohs" and "aahs" break out.
They cheer, they scream, they shout
They keep you unprepared
for what is to come tomorrow.

When the day finally
comes when you just can't
write another chant
That's when people will cheer
at this horrible blow.

The unspoken

Filled to the brim,
Gleaming in the dark
Unspoken words
Lingered in the air
For me to hear.

The urge to write this
Springs from within me
Quite meaningless
When compared
To what they said.

Emotions conveyed
Through these deep lakes
So simple
Yet so profound
Can I ever respond?

Can I ever say
In a million words
What was said
When your eyes spoke.
It still keeps me awake.

Inspired...

(My first attempt at poetry or rhyming - whatever you choose to call it. Sorry for inflicting this on you.)

Inspired
to fly
to soar
to be myself and something more

Inspired
to change
to learn
and to inspire in turn

Inspired
to think
to breathe
and stand up on my feet

Inspired
to rhyme
to write
and to turn on that light

For this I thank you...

Free Burma!

Well, I don't pretend to be an expert. I do not know anything about politics. I do not know how the system works or is supposed to work. But one thing I do know is that force, violence and tyranny don't lead to anything good. They lead to death, poverty, disease, destruction, sorrow and gloom.
I voted for a free Burma today at http://www.free-burma.org and so can you. Click here
Just remember that the entire world is affected by people's actions. Someday we will be affected because of the cruelty and violence there in Burma or anywhere else in the world. You may call it "Karma" or "economics" or "history repeats" or whatever. But it will keep coming back to remind us that we are not lords or great beings. We need to respect people around us and honour their ideals, needs and their existence. Imposing strength on the weak and powerless (and unarmed) makes us cowards and miserable wretches.
If you would like to learn more about Burma and the struggle of the people there for basic rights is outlined here. And if you want to learn about the art of lying - here. Absolutely frustrating.

And the most pathetic part of it is India's stance on the issue. I understand that India exports arms to Burma. And the honourable foreign minister of India called the conflict in Burma "their internal issues" that we had no business to interfere there. Pathetic. These arms are being used against unarmed and agitating but peaceful monks.

Just hope and pray that people wake up to these issues and Burma sees hope in the form of a good government and freedom. Join in this online effort if you truly care(or don't care. It just takes a few seconds believe me. )