...in my own image...

Day 7, Hour 3
My virtual world is heaven. I have filled it up with creatures and happenings that are very much like real life. In fact, being a person that lacks much creativity, I have made my video game world just exactly like my real world. Of course, barring the fact that I hardly do much other than gaming in real life. In that world I am a well-built, courageous, resourceful and charming guy. And in this life I am just me, munching crisps and sipping cola after another, occupying this sofa for 20 hours a day.

Day 7, Hour 10
I cannot do it anymore. The fear of making a decision that will in anyway affect my perfect virtual world is absolutely terrifying. I cannot destroy it either. I cannot face the idea of such a perfect world going to waste. Or that such a perfect world become like mine.

Day 7, Hour 100
I have done it! I wrote out some artificial intelligence code for my character in the world. Actually I think he has some thing more than what I have. I also put in a girl in there. Wonder if this world will give me some way to figure out how I should live my life in this world.


Day 3285000, Hour 30
No. Big mistake. Should never have let this happen.

It creeps closer

I know that it is coming
I can feel it in the air
It is barely moving
But I know it is there
Tomorrow it will be here
And I wish I knew what to do
But I have perfect vision when  I look back
And am blind as bat for what's ahead 

Wisdom from the fool

Unease, dissatisfaction, unhappiness
If these were constant states of being
Why would we the world work at all
Brief moments of small joys
make the world go around

No longer

That little girl
In a yellow summer dress
Wild hair and wilder mind
She reminds me of me
But I am no longer her

Your turn

A sob story
A sad day
All that you will hear from me today
Instead why don't I keep it to myself
And hear your tale?

The side-effects of binge eating

I lay in bed
Filled with regret
Looking for a way to stop
the voice in my head
Tears have been shed
But the pain just wants to make me drop
That's it I said
Never again will I eat chocolate

Purged clean

Small bits of silliness
Add up to explode into
a long and arduous process
of cleaning up and dumping out

Purged clean of decades of trash

Too little too much

A bit too self-assured in her actions
Too much self-doubt in her mind
A recipe for disasters

A little world

I look at the little world below
I see little ducks swimming around
A few tyres float in the water
And  shapes loom inside the pond
It is a little messed up...
 just like the wide world around it

For 10 minutes or less

This blog: 
An effort to be clever
For 10 minutes or less everyday

Burn

His eyes follow you as he scrutinizes you intensely. You can feel the gaze burn down on you and you sweat uncomfortably. There is no escape. You try to get away but there is nothing you can do in the barren landscape that lies ahead. The ground below seems to do nothing but increase your discomfort as you wriggle to shake some sweat that is collecting on your back. Finally an oasis emerges on the horizon and you rush towards it. But the more you pedal, the further it seems to get. The thought of getting to the oasis, just to get back on the road, under the harsh Sun to cycle back home on a long stretch of shadeless roads makes you cringe. But it is done and you live now to tell the tale.

No joy

Gladness
envelops the heart that knows
There is no joy in numbers

Summer and childhood

The smell of mangoes
A starry night
A sister's hugs
Branches bending low with fiery red flowers

The river does not run dry

The river does not run dry
The fount that feeds it runs eternally
The mouth that drinks from it moves on,
to other streams and falling rain
When it moves on, it cares not
But the brook tumbles by itself
And by itself.

Lady outside my window

Like one of the clouds she floated in the sky right outside my window. She even looked like them. Among them she appeared to gently bob up and down. Soft white with light blue daubs and flecks on her. As clouds passed by she lingered on. A little while later I looked up to see her radiant, rising above as the sky darkened. The darker the night, the brighter she got. Now the world is dark and the light that she emits lights up my dark room. Good night sweet moon.

Every time

A little disappointment
Trumps
Remorse and regret, every time

Blogger's subject

There is a moment in the day
When there is a pause
There is noise
But there is a thread of silence in it
A sudden awareness
The mist clears and the blog writer awakes
Her mind marks that moment in the day
That moment forms her subject that night

Dirt within

Scrub a little to reveal a lot underneath
But beware, it is not always gold under the dirt
Sometimes it is something you never thought was there
Sometimes it is that which you never wished there would be

Paper

Going through each paper,
one at a time
 memories come flooding back
 from some of them
while others take a while to recognize
Then like the hand of a massive hauling machine
Each paper goes into the dump

Nothing

What do you say when the people that you trust to know everything make choices that you knew were obvious mistakes?

What do you say to people whose trust you seem to have failed because you were helpless in the sidelines?

Nice talking

I am there in that higher level of consciousness when what you say reaches not just my ears but my brain as well. The modulation of ideas from your brain, going through a million transformations from raw ideas into concrete ones, from concrete wordless ones into worded ones, from worded to well-worded, from well-worded to voiced, from vibrations in the air to those of my ear-drum, from my ear to my brain, to demodulation into wordless pictures that form in my mind. It was nice talking to you.

Mundane

Mundane makes life
One boring step after another
Mundane makes ...
... a philosopher out of me

Being

Just being me
Just being free
Life the way I live it
Love if I want to give it

My World

The world bobs up and down
Turns from side to side
Then I realize, how silly I sound
It is me who is sleep deprived

Underneath it all

Return to initial state
Carry on as if nothing changed
Only you know
The current that flows underneath

Be alright

At times like these I know
That people will last forever
Because as long as there is love
And even a tiny little tune
Everything is going to be alright

Useless Knowledge

A drawer for useless knowledge
Stowed away just for today
And when I use it to educate you
And give you something worthless too

One with the world

Take a minute to think
What is to be
Utterly one with the world
And then forget that scary thought

Dialogue

Dialogue that absorbs different people of similar intellectual pursuits is what keeps the world going up. The needs of people to be happy also depends on their need to share thoughts about higher ideals and so on. Most people who have been in these conversations would disagree. They would tell you that these conversations make you unhappy - they accomplish little, they bring home the fact that things don't really work well in the world. It brings out the flaws that are in you and the world around. Yet once you have the taste of this type of dialogue, you know that you are going to go back for more.

Cities and people

Don't dismiss people because they are not cool or funny or stylish or hip. Dig deeper and you will find something surprising and interesting there. But don't try to find a way to measure the depth of a person and give him a yardstick to measure up to. That doesn't work either.
Just as with a person, a city needs to be understood a little. No digging deeper, no scrutiny is needed really. You just need to be a bit interested, walk around a bit and just allow the city to give up its secrets. Enough interest and patience from you and cities or people will throw so much character at you, you won't believe it.

Takehome messages

A feeling of awe
Declining invitations
Talks of falsehood and lying
Social inability and awkwardness
Jubilation over successful survival